Monday, November 9, 2009

Quarter Life?

Bonjour,

It is official that I'm going through my quarter life crisis. I guess it came a little earlier for me, but that's the only way I can explain my internal restlessness for the past couple of weeks. I think someone forgot to mention to me that it's all downhill after turning 21. So, I'm trying my best to keep that reality check from affecting my performance at work, class, TWC programs, and my life overall.

The fortune cookie I got the other day that read, "Today is the last day of your life so far." added more fuel to the nearly uncontrollable blaze within. It caused me to make a bucket-list, push certain people out of my life and welcome others back/in, and over scrutinize my inadequacies, i.e. lack of focus, commitment, skills, etcetera.

For the last few weeks, the added pressure of life after college...of getting into a public health graduate program..has been making me feel overwhelmed. I don't see why my drive to learn and $100,000+ for a graduate degree can't be enough to get me an acceptance letter. This experience is also causing me to see the harsh reality behind the $150,000 bachelor's degree I will receive in May from Adelphi University. Is it really worth anything now? With graduate school in the back of my mind, it feels as though nothing matters. My supervisor at Safe Kids is kind enough to give me advice on the kind of school of public health he thinks would be good fits for me according to his experience with them, but it's still not enough to alleviate my level of stress.

You know what, I feel like packing up a bag and running away to a remote land where I can discard my addictions to technology, escape standardized testing and forget about the catch-22 of "1-2 years of experience" to get a job or acceptance into a higher education program.

As you can see, it has been a troublesome couple of weeks. My studying for the Graduate Record Exam to take tomorrow, November 10th, isn't helping my situation. Anyway, the best thing that happened last week was the chief operating officer of The Washington Center randomly taking me and another student out to lunch to evaluate the program. I think if she actually took our recommendations seriously (i.e. more interactions among TWC students & controversial topics for lectures), the program will surely be even more successful.

Until Next Time,
Emmanuel H.

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